hey guys welcome back to another episode
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of the Beyond hope project podcast my
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name is Jason Tharp the champion of Hope
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and before we dive into this what's
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going to be a very powerful episode just
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wanted to ask a favor um did you know
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that we have a Beyond hope project
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newsletter um freshly made every week I
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draw a brand new comic every week I
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write about my experiences uh stories
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that uh hopefully Inspire I get a lot of
0:35
messages back that they do Inspire so
0:37
it's really cool to feel um and as well
0:40
as just meant to be an under two-minute
0:42
read and we're not selling you anything
0:43
at all the other part is just asking for
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some help help in spreading the hope uh
0:48
if you are listening to this and you
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something in here inspires you just
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share it with one person that's all I'm
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asking uh because that little bit of
0:55
share could change somebody else's day
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and that's all I got for promos right
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now uh I want to jump into this idea of
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of pain being a huge growth motivator in
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our life because I think we all just
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want to avoid pain we never want to
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experience pain because it sucks and the
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avoidance of pain though what I want to
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try to do is flip it on its head and see
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like what we actually are avoiding in
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that pain like is it a growth is it a
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growth point for us or is it just truly
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pain and I'm speaking from a lot of
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experience because I feel like I have
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dug through lots of pain in my life
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whether it was figuring out why you know
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I hated myself so much to figuring out
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you know how am I going to get over this
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brain cancer thing um how am I going to
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build my life back how am I going to be
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somebody that goes into a mission from
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this how am I going to just stick around
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and start to share this story because
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believe it or not even this stuff right
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here this podcast which I dearly love
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doing this stuff it's it's it started
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out as a pain point it started out as
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like me thinking that there was no way
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that people would actually want to hear
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this stuff and I think what we start to
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realize is as we're doing this what we
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really think we're trying to do is we're
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trying to slow the world down we think
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if we just stand still somehow the world
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will stop spinning and we focus so much
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on these pain points and we look at them
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almost like imagine walking down a
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sidewalk and there's just one weed and
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you've spent all this time you know
2:17
making your landscaping Great and making
2:19
sure all the stuff looks awesome and
2:21
your focal point is just this one weed
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and you just keep pulling it and every
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time you pull it it just pops back up
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immediately and you focus so much on
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that weed that you miss out all this
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massive beautiful amazing stuff that's
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going around you and when we do that
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what we're actually doing is we're
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letting things pass by what we missed
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seeing in all this stuff is that
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actually pain could be a huge
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opportunity for us to grow give you some
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examples from my life when I was
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diagnosed the way I was um I easily
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could have just kind of crumbled and
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said you know what you're right you know
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I'm not going to be in here seven months
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and life is going to change forever
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instead I really started looking at like
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well if I want to be this how am I going
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to go about doing it differently what
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can I do in my life how can I actually
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address the pain head on and see what
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it's trying to teach me and in that
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teaching me is there something that I
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can actually use to benefit me in
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growing into the type of person that
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ends up being on the other side of this
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to help do ultimately what I'm doing now
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share the lesson learnedness now I did
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not know that at the time at the time
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all I saw was the pain but inside of me
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there was some sort of spark that said
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you got to figure this thing out and I
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think that's what happens sometimes with
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pain is it's really closely aligned with
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the things we're looking for pain is
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very close Association to fear too right
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because we can when we try to grow fear
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kicks in or if something happens it's
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really painful we want to avoid it at
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all cost it's the same sort of thing
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they kind of like go hand in hand but
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out of that what we can kind of see is
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that there's a chance to renew right
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it's almost like a new seed what if
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you're pulling that weed out of that
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sidewalk and you actually plant a flower
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seed down maybe it is in pulling those
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things out and addressing it and
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understanding that it may not go away
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and it may keep showing itself up but
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you can also plant a beautiful flower
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next to that weed and then all of a
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sudden the
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flower you know gets bigger than the
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weed and you don't see the weed anymore
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doesn't mean it doesn't exist doesn't
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mean that your pain is going to go away
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it's always going to be there but what
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we do and addressing is we learn how to
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cope with it when it when it rars its
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head when it gets too loud inside our
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brain to uh make us want to move forward
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we actually are able to address it
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because it's raising our awareness it's
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understanding that you know this is a
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normal part of
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life you know this is also a really cool
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thing to show you that you're alive you
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know just imagine that like the only
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time that you're never going to have
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pain is when you're not here anymore I
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mean I me really like listen to that
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again the only time you're not going to
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feel pain is when you are dead so why
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not live
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today understand that things are going
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to go sideways things are going to
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happen things are going to be painful
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things are going to challenge you things
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are going to make you question
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everything but it happens to everybody
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too you know the I've said it a million
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times on this and I'll say it again the
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almost worst part about life is the good
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stuff and the bad stuff are completely
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normal we just don't get to pick what
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those are but we do get to pick how we
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react to them and if you're constantly
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reacting to your painful moments as
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things that you can't move past or
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things that you just get stuck on or
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things that you start blaming or maybe
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you're a self- sabotager or maybe you're
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self-doubt that you feel like that's
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just another brick in those stories and
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that's the only angle you're willing to
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look at it don't be surprised when you
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stay stuck in those
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spots I can speak from experience from
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this because this is exactly how I laid
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the foundation around me that made
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myself a
6:10
[Music]
6:14
self-hatred to get under control and you
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can spray one and another it pop up
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until you start to learn that these are
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parts of my life that aren't going to go
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away I have to start figuring out how
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I'm going to deal with it and it did
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take something pretty big for me to
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finally actually deal with it I couldn't
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hide it hiding behind it anymore I had
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to really realize if this pain was part
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of it and how am I going to figure out a
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way around it and the way around it was
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not trying to avoid it it was going
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straight through it so it is a big part
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of knowing that you're alive waking up
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every day that you get to actually
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experience stuff even if it is
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painful because that's pretty cool to be
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alive I mean think about what the odds
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of you being you are so
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minute that you get to experience this
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world right now and I I know for some of
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us that we go like gee thanks this sucks
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my life sucks and all that stuff like
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that I would question something or I
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would Challen not necessary question I
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would challenge you to think about it a
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different
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way is it possible that your way of
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viewing what you're seeing as
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painful just happens to be the reality
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you're
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creating in other words could you change
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your perspective of something and look
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for something the exact opposite today
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if you're somebody that always tells you
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yourself that things always go wrong for
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me why not take today to challenge
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yourself to look for everything that's
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going right for you doesn't have to be
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massive things it could be the smallest
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things what we're trying to do is we're
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trying to raise our awareness to all the
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things that we're causing that is
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causing our pain and looking for the
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exact opposite thing all we're doing is
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we're trying to be aware of this moment
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because the challenge is not winning
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your whole day I think a lot of times
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when we're overwhelmed with pain we
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think that these days are just going to
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string together and a week goes by and
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we're always going to be stuck in it but
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that's not really how life works because
8:03
what's already passed is over by the
8:05
time you're at this point in the podcast
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that part that you listen to two minutes
8:09
ago will never happen again unless you
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just watched the video but then it
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didn't really happen anymore it's just a
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past reflection that you're bringing to
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your present moment the same is what is
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happening when you're seeing all these
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things in your life is pain all they are
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is a past reflection that you're
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interpreting into your present moment
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if you no longer want to experience
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those things then it's really important
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to start to understand how you can start
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to capture this present moment and turn
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it into a positive thing for you and it
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starts by addressing the pain
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stuff because in the experience of pain
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what we're learning is we're learning
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resilience we're learning that when
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things go sideways how do I get back up
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because what starts to happen in that
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process is that you start to remove all
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the excuses for yourself
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when I got diagnosed I thought how is
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how am I going to get up over this the
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thing that started inspiring me was man
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I have I have overcome so much stuff in
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my life yes this is a pretty bad one but
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I also thought remember thinking back
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when I was like you know 400 pounds like
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how am I ever going to feel comfortable
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in my own skin and I remember that
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feeling of every day being painful and I
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thought how am I ever going to not feel
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like this and it was finally when I
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decided I had enough and I started to
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just address it head on I stopped
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avoiding it I stopped using all the
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other things that didn't work and I
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started to raise my awareness and that
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doesn't mean that overnight it happened
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it means that I started slowly each day
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taking tiny tiny steps and those Tiny
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Steps o o over time end up adding to
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these big Monumental things that changes
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everything for us so these are
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experiences these experiences start to
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build your future but they all happen in
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this present moment you can create any
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world that you want if you're focused on
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what you would rather have versus what
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you don't have and this is where growth
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happens this is where gratitude begins
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to show up because what you should start
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to think about is how grateful you are
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that you get to experience these
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things everybody goes through storms
10:18
they're always happening we're all going
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through this world like these little in
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these little Bubbles and when we just
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happen to crisscross with somebody
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else's we just get a chance to share
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with them sometimes in those
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crisscrosses somebody will say something
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to you that'll change stuff sometimes
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they'll say stuff that adds more crap to
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your
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pile but that doesn't mean you have to
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add it to your pile just because
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somebody is saying something to you
10:45
that's painful and it's feeding your
10:46
painful story ask a question am I the
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one looking for those things to tell
10:51
that story continually because that's
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what I did I would look at the world and
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all these magical things that were
10:56
happening I would look at the one tiny
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thing in the corner
11:00
that fed the story that I'm not good
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enough and it just kept building until
11:05
eventually the pile gets too big and it
11:07
crumbles down on top of you and you have
11:08
no choice you can continue and accept
11:12
that this is your life or realize that
11:15
it doesn't have to be and you do have
11:17
the power to change it and then out of
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that what you'll find is that through
11:22
gratitude through shared experiences
11:25
through present moment connection that
11:27
people will start showing up and people
11:29
that you did not know existed will start
11:32
showing up to help you get to where you
11:33
want to go you didn't change anything
11:35
about how you went you didn't change the
11:37
fact that you made all the pain
11:38
disappear what you started to do is just
11:39
address it in a different way you
11:41
started to figure out how can I lessen
11:43
this pain knowing it's not going to go
11:45
away how can I make it shrink enough so
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I can deal with it every day and if you
11:50
can learn how to do that what you're
11:51
going to start doing you're going to
11:52
start winning your days as you start
11:53
winning your days people are going to
11:54
notice and by the way people notice even
11:56
when you're not winning your days it's
11:58
about showing showing up and just being
12:00
and a lot of times what you think is
12:02
really bad for you could be somebody
12:03
else looking at you and going like wow
12:06
like I wish I had my stuff together that
12:09
much and I think that what we're looking
12:11
for in the world is just things that
12:12
keep telling our stories that we tell
12:14
ourselves so if you want to change your
12:17
story change the lens you're looking
12:18
through it you know understand more so
12:21
that growth and renewal is constantly on
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the plate every day when you go to bed
12:28
your clothes are that chapter it'll
12:29
never repeat itself but as soon as you
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open your eyes you have the ability to
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create the day that you
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want our job I believe is to make sure
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that we're telling ourselves the things
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that make sure that that day doesn't
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turn into something as a repeat of the
12:44
day
12:45
before now that's easier said than done
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but it's 100%
12:49
possible you got to remember not that
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long ago I was supposed to be dead in
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seven months it's I'm going into almost
12:57
year three now completely clear nothing
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in there except for a brain but a big
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black
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hole all because I chose not to believe
13:08
to tell myself the same narrative over
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again I don't take medicines I don't
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take things that are keeping it under
13:16
control I do wear this device um but
13:19
there's no external thing I'm not taking
13:21
something to ease the pain of this I'm
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dealing with it headon every day I spend
13:26
the time to make sure that I bring
13:27
myself to the present moment and create
13:29
the world that I want to create and this
13:31
is what I'm suggesting to you too you
13:33
have the power within you right now to
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change everything that you want thing
13:38
that you're looking for does not exist
13:40
out there somewhere it exists when you
13:43
start to turn in and realize that you
13:46
yourself have everything that you're
13:48
looking for once you start to attach
13:51
yourself to the outcome that you want
13:54
look for that in the world and you start
13:55
to give it little bits and plant the
13:58
seed what you're going to find is that
14:01
everything you're looking for has behind
14:04
all the pain that you were trying to
14:06
avoid and that's pretty
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magical so guys uh that's that's kind of
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what I got right now um for you on that
14:15
subject the idea that just embracing
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your pain I know that sounds super easy
14:22
and it's one of those things that easily
14:24
falls into that category of like easy
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for you to say um but understand that
14:29
what I just told you was straight from
14:32
my story how it felt for me um so in a
14:35
lot of ways I'm not making up this stuff
14:38
this this whole podcast is all things
14:40
that I've dealt with and which is a lot
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of reasons why this is so easy to just
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kind of sit down to talk about it you
14:45
know uh in true disclosure when I sit
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down here I have like you know a
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sentence to start to remind myself of
14:52
what I want to talk about but instead
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what I do is I end up going off script
14:56
to that and turning into what I remember
14:57
going through and it's a way for you to
15:00
see yourself through my story and that's
15:02
what the whole mission of this is so if
15:05
any of this touched you any of this made
15:06
sense to you any of this is something
15:09
that you need to share with you know a
15:11
family member a friend or anybody else
15:13
that's struggling share this spread the
15:15
hope to them and help me remove some of
15:19
the pain in my life too and start to end
15:21
my days because I'm trying to build
15:23
momentum to help other people out there
15:25
see that they're pretty amazing with
15:27
that being said I just want to remind
15:28
you one thing congratulations for making
15:31
it this far life's not easy things go
15:33
sideways and things are a lot of pain
15:35
are full of a lot of pain but you're
15:36
doing really good and if somebody hasn't
15:38
told you lately I just want you to know
15:40
that I'm really happy to share this
15:42
journey with you you're loved more than
15:45
you can realize and people are paying
15:47
attention to you and you're not
15:49
alone and I hope this helps power
15:55
[Music]
15:57
up